The cat interrupts my writing

writing a poem while crying and doing the laundry

In the morning, tears fell off my cheek onto the top of the dryer
As I collapsed while folding laundry.
Sorrow, regret, shame.
Like a wet load of clothing heaped onto me;
I fell under the weight. 
The pain of self-doubt could be deadly. 
I reached for my notebook as my soul screamed from inside of me:
“Not now, my darling.”
The sodden load I was carrying became 
feathers on the page,
bricks into snowflakes. 
I watched as they melted under the warmth of 
love’s gentle gaze.

I am reminded, yet again, 
that this life is singularly mine. 
I am no different than any human being, fully capable of my own destiny. 
Responsible for my reaction to the path paved in front of me. 
Will I learn? Will I study? Will I rise to the test?
The one where I think he gives me everything I’ve ever wanted,
the one where I let go before the grip of holding on begins to harm me. 
I have stood at this door before; 
I am tempted to walk through again. 
Can I trust myself to say no even as my heart begs me to say yes?

The cat interrupts my writing.
He knows I have the answer I need.